The Challenges Facing The 21st Century Parent

by: RussellM.Stewart
Total views: 28 | Word Count: 1215

We all remember being children, looking at our parents in disbelief at the oversights, misunderstandings and plain daft ways they behaved towards us. At the time we promised ourselves that one day we'd show them just how it should be done. So here we all are, wondering where on earth it all went wrong. Our children are now shaking their heads at us whilst looking sadly at their pitiful parents, almost certainly promising themselves that one day they'd show us how it should be done. Such is the comedy of life. The truth is that being a parent is never easy, and there have always been dangers, traditions, expectations, risks and issues that have had to be tackled. However, the biggest challenge parents have always faced is that the world into which they bring their children is not the same as the familiar world of their own childhood, and this is where the problems start.

One aspect in particular which has worried parents today, and which was not an issue back in the days when we were children, is the advent and proliferation of computers and other technologies which allow our children to meet, interact and communicate online with people from all over the world, and to spend hours glued to a screen focussing entirely on moving bunches of pixels from one place to another in a desperate attempt to do strange things like finish the 'Quest of The j'Graa Goblet' or seek out Lord Krakticka to pwn him with the rest of the guildies. If this means nothing to you, then join the club - it's a big club, with a growing number of members.

Of course, no one is going to suggest that simply because we are the generation of parents that we somehow lost all ability to cope with life in the 21st century - we can, most of us, use a computer perfectly well, and see it as a handy tool for sending emails, looking stuff up on the internet, maybe even creating letters or a graph. But perhaps it's simply who we are as a generation, but the appeal of posting our intimate secrets on the internet for the whole globe to see is lost on us. We shred any personal documents or bank statements before burying them deep within the depths of our bins, and hate the idea of photographs of us being owned by anyone. Yet our children seem quite happy to publish embarrassing photographs and stories for all to see. They talk about friends, but have never met them, and this even challenges our definition of friend. To us, a friend is someone we are close to, hang out with, and spend time with. Our children's friends seem to be distant, with the only interaction taking place in a virtual world.

Few of us can have missed the numerous stories on the news about children who go missing after meeting up with someone on the internet. The statistics are grim, and the reality is clearly that there are predators who use the internet as a way of accessing children. It's easy to view the computer as the problem, as the cause of danger, and the temptation is to remove its presence from the home entirely.

Most of us realise, however, that it isn't the computers which are evil, and the vast majority of people on the internet are perfectly decent individuals. Yes, it's true that there are risks associated with using the internet, but then there are dangers associated with almost everything in life. We could go down to the shopping mall and be blown up by terrorists, or we could take a plane on our next holiday and die in a horrendous crash, or we be knocked down and trampled by a donkey. Every day we take risks, and yet most of us seem to survive them. Clearly this is because we take calculated risks, and use common sense to judge the dangers, and act accordingly. Clearly getting in to a plane held together by sticky tape would be absurd, and crossing the road blindfolded would also be liable to come with far greater risk. Similarly, using the internet is only a danger if you either have no idea what the risks are, or simply ignore them and effectively cross the road blindfold every time you log on, or allow your children to.

What are the dangers or risks involved in using the internet, or computers, and exactly what can we as parents do to try to ensure that our children can enjoy using this amazing resource, whilst at the same time staying as safe as possible? The key to safety is understanding - whatever it is you're doing. Whether it's driving on the motorway, parachuting or flying to the moon, the more you understand the risks, the less risk you'll be taking. By understanding what it is that your children are doing, and knowing what they mean by avatars, profiles, chat rooms, messenger programs and online games, you will be able to share your child's experiences much more, and help them to use the internet more safely. The more we can work with our children to encourage them to use the technology in a positive way, but understanding the dangers and risks, the more chance we have of helping to ensure their safety, enabling them to decide themselves on the level of risk.

We spend time as parents teaching our children about 'stranger danger', and make sure they understand not to interact with anyone they don't know. They have it drummed in to them from an early age that they should not talk to strangers, go off with them, accept lifts or sweets or invitations, and that if they suspect anything is wrong, run back home or to safety straight away and tell someone. This same policy and understanding is often lacking online. The strangers are still there, most of whom are perfectly decent, but many are sadly using the anonymity of the internet to hide behind fake profiles. Our children understand about strangers in the street or park. But online, people aren't strangers. They have photos, names, hobbies, backgrounds, families and favourite music. The fact that these profiles may be entirely fake seems to pass our children by.

Possibly you may already be aware of the fact that there is a wealth of security software available for parents. These enable you to lock down and protect your computer, installing filters and logs, restrictions and blocking tools, guards and scanners, but to be honest most of this will simply cause our children to be ever more curious about what really is on the other side of the wall you've built. We were children once, and we know that the first thing you want to do if told not to look over the wall, is to look over the wall, and most children are smart enough to work out a way of getting past the security. A far more effective way of supporting and protecting them is to communicate with them. To have the computer somewhere publically visible so that you can see what they're doing, share an interest, and talk with them, is far better than trying to lock everything down and then running away to pretend the dangers will go away.

About the Author

There are much of parents blogs on the internet and some offer very useful information on everything to do with kids. From advice on illness, nightmares, education and much more. Take a look, from kids to teens, great stuff.  

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