Relationship Advice - Have a Partner, not Competitor

by: LynnThomas
Total views: 17 | Word Count: 477

Being in a relationship not easy, everyone knows that. What puts a huge strain on a relationship is when your partner begins to feel like you are no longer supporting him, but are suddenly in competition with him. Reading the subtle signs that this is becoming a problem can help you nip this problem before it is too late.

This can be a real problem in relationships between people who are both ambitious and competitive. By the time you notice it, it may have already driven a wedge between you and him. Rori Raye describes "boy energy" as that aggressive approach that women use to achieve great things. This 'boy energy' can completely wreck your relationship. It is important to avoid letting this happen by paying attention to the warning signs.

It should be easy to tell if this is a problem for you. He may suddenly shy away from competitive activities, like board games or exercise. If he declines your invitations to participate in competitive activities consistently, you can be sure that there is trouble in paradise.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can't keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

This one little piece of relationship advice can save you so much grief! Turn the situation around and ask yourself how you would feel if he left you in the dust every time you went for a jog, or if he pouted every time you beat him at a game. Turn the tables by being sensitive to competitive situations and diffusing them through compassion. Celebrate his victories both publicly and in private. By giving him the spotlight rather than stealing it away from him, you can make him feel like you are in a partnership rather than a contest.