Useful Mindsets in Dealing with Male Competition - I

by: VinDiCarlo
Total views: 15 | Word Count: 553

Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.

Approaching a woman who is "with" a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.

The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is "with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.

This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.

The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious, and it's hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is in any given interaction. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.

He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that can end up their game.

And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to speak.

Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided confrontation.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.

The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a woman talking to another guy, you would think she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can't tell you how many exact times I have approached a woman that is being with a guy that I thought he was "with" that guy or say a boyfriend, then only to find out that it was just a dude that approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets when I remember that I used to completely not talking to a woman because I saw her being with another guy. So many opportunities that I've wasted. This brings me to my first point:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your head - just don't limit your options by making false assumptions.

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