How to Talk to Women (or Men) in Your Online Dating Ads

by: JayReiss,M.S.W.
Total views: 22 | Word Count: 584

As an Internet Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personal Ads to see how men and women are promoting themselves. Often the ads are written so poorly, that it's no wonder why many people fail to attract the types of partners they're asking for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact manner - which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women! And the women's ads often come across as demanding - producing poor results - which ends up reinforcing their views that "all of the good men are taken."

Here's one example. This ad was submitted by a woman in her early 40's -

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"I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!"

Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!) Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on what "everything" might include. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books, although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first!

It's hard to imagine what sort of guy she'll attract with that ad!

Have a look at this next online dating ad - it's from a young man who describes himself as the "Tattoo Teddy Bear" -

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"i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect."

Short, sweet, and to the point, yes?

It's at moments like this when I can really understand why men and women just don't understand each other!

One of the secrets to writing effective online personal ads is to write your ads just like you're having a real, live conversation with your reader.

In other words, here's what NOT to do:

1. Don't write your Internet Dating Ads so they sound like magazine advertisements!

2. Don't "talk down" to your readers.

3. Do not - under any circumstances - submit a 10 or 15-word ad for Online Dating!

Here's what you SHOULD do:

1. In your online dating ads, talk about yourself in such a way as to create an image of yourself as a real person in the mind of your reader. You might want to include some of your personal interests and hobbies - and what you enjoy doing on a date.

2. Using colorful, imaginative language, and paint a picture of how she or he will feel when you're together on a date. Use examples, anticipate questions, and be upbeat and optimistic. Give your reader a sense of what being with you is like - and describe that in some detail when writing your dating ad.

3. Talk about some of your best qualities. (Are you warm and friendly? A good listener? Are you compassionate and understanding?)

4. Why should your reader respond to your ad right now? Here's the place to motivate them!

5. Finally - please remember to use a spell-checker on your ad before you click the "submit" button and have it published!

By creating an honest and empathic dialog with your reader when writing your online personal ads, you'll be way ahead of most of your competitors for the attention of the women - or men - you'd like to hear from the most!

About the Author

Want to meet beautiful women online today? Or handsome men? Check out this very Special Offer: Get three FREE online personal ads and a FREE Online Dating Profile! Visit my Online Dating site today at http://www.online-dating-coach.com  

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